a letter.....

Dear darling,

I’m writhing you this letter with the intention to explain, to explain why all this is happening. I know its hart for you to understand, we’re coming from different hood. But please I’m not asking you to forgive me or forget the things that happened. I’m asking you to give me  just one more chance, just for you to know why you had to deal with those things. There is lots that happened and we where stick together.

My dearest the problem is I’m not sure about anything. First I knew everything, I knew where I stood, what I wanted and also who I was. This all just turn around and disappear. I found myself running through life without a destination. Life passed me by. I hated the whole world because everybody seems to be happy and excited in life, nobody cares for me. I lost my mom and I lost my own. I didn’t know how to survive this lost of my dearest one. I chose the easy way just to put my sadness away. I introduce myself to drugs wondering how life could be if I had my mom still being here with me. Do you know how it feels to wake-up every morning remembering how sick she was, how much pain she had all over her body. She couldn’t eat. I saw her getting thinner and thinner. By the end she didn’t recognize me anymore. That really hurts. Time flows away but my pain stayed, it didn’t go away. Instead the pain begin to grow bigger and bigger. I became lonely. You where there for me, but I needed my mother, my family, a peas of myself and I didn’t get it. So I became frustrated. Life took every little happiness of me. That’s the reason why I wanted to die. I wanted to go to my mom. Because she loved me and I loved her. She was my everything. Sometimes it feels like she was breathing for me.